Please Don't
by KandyPop
Summary: Based on the K Will song, Please Don't. Pewdie and Ken have been dating for years and decide to marry, shocking Cry, Pewdie's best friend and man. SLASH PewdieKen, PewdieCry twoshot
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Please Don't

**Summary:** Based on the K Will song, Please Don't. Pewdie and Ken have been dating for years and decide to marry, shocking Cry, Pewdie's best friend and man. SLASH PewdieKen, PewdieCry twoshot

_We sit next to each other in the car but there is no music  
I always held your left hand but now you're picking at your lips_

나란히 앉은 자동차 속에선  
음악도 흐르지 않아  
늘 잡고 있던 니 왼손으로 너  
입술만 뜯고 있어

I smell his warm familiar scent. It always smelled like home, something that I could look forward to. My heart would race and my cheeks would turn a dark hue of red, whenever his prescence was near. I would intoxicate myself in the warm, cheery, comforting atmosphere that he always gave, as he laughed and light heartingly joke with me. He was so great like that, turning any frowns on a miserable, gloomy day to a bright, warm grin. I envy that "skill" of his. I never was able to do that. Sure, I made jokes and I would laugh and smile like anyone else would, but _like_ anyone else, it was all a mask to hide behind in social norms. Except him. Except _Felix._ God, I wish I could breathe in his scent one more time. When it smelled so lovely and so comforting to me.

Cause now, all I want to do was puke out my insides from it.

I blink, my hand clutching onto the wheel and my feet pressed a little too harshly against the gas pedal. I slow down my speed, a sigh escaping my lips as I press gently down on the brakes. God, I could still smell him. I cover my mouth with my free hand, the one that wasn't busy trying to maintain the wheel, my face turning a ghastly pale. _This isn't fair. This isn't fair. Why won't he leave my mind? Why can I still smell that comforting aroma of his? Because all it does is make me want to yack. _

I turn toward my right, my eyes gazing toward the passenger seat. My eyes widen slightly, questioning if I should possibly take my hands off the wheel just for a mere second. I slowly lift my hand that was covering my mouth and toward his cheek, gently grazing my fingers against his warm, slightly red cheek. His eyes soften toward mine, before a flash of betrayal and guilt appears in his aquatic blue eyes and he direct his eyes toward the window, ignoring my long gazing stare at him.

"Are you real?" I ask, the mumbles just audible enough for the both of us to hear. He doesn't reply, resting his head against his palm and smiling goofily as if the sights out the window were far more interesting than the fact that he was sitting next to me. That he was here, right by me. "Felix.." I feel a pit in my stomach, as his name rolls off my tongue. "Why are you here? Just answer me."

Felix shake his head and his eyes downcast toward his thighs, rubbing his one hand against his knee, as if he didn't need anyone to comfort him. Just himself. I sigh and return my eyes toward the empty road, no cars in sight. I could tell the words were at the tip of his tongue, they were. But I ignore him, pretending he wasn't there. Because he wasn't. Felix wasn't here. _He's with his fiance, the man that took away Felix from me. No, I let Felix go unattended. I let him wander off and find him. Ken._

_I know what you're going to say, please don't say it_  
_Don't know why, don't know why_  
_I want to draw out each minute, each second_  
_But the empty road rushes me on_

가 할 말 알아 그 말만은 말아  
_Don't know why don't know why _  
일분 일초 더 끌고 싶은데  
텅 빈 길 나를 재촉해

"I'm happy you know." I direct my eyes back toward Felix, his eyes furrowed in deep concentration. A small, nervous smile was curved at his thin, pink lips. I lick my lips nervously and reply back hastily, "Well I'm glad. I'm really..really.." I grip my one hand on the wheels harder, my fingers clenching so tightly that you could see the blue veins trailing across them. "I'm so happy that you're happy Felix. I..I really am."

I force the corners of my lips upward, as a frown curves on Felix's. "Really." I insisted, nodding slightly.

"Ken, I really love him. A lot in fact. He's been a great guy to me. Treats me the way I want to be treated. That's all I asked for. And I try my best to make him happy. That way, we're both happy. And we are. But-" Felix leans closer, his hot breath on my nose and lips, and I could feel my breath shorten. "You. You're always there by my side too. Remember September? The day we held hands, your right hand was holding onto my left. I thought we would be happy. I thought we would be something more. But then, you disappeared. Like you always do." Felix tipped my chin upward with his index, and narrowed his eyes, throwing daggers at me with such intense confusion and hatred blended in his aquatic blue eyes. " I don't understand what the fuck you're doing Cry."

I feel a shiver run down my spine as I absorb in his last sentence. I peel his finger off from my chin hesitantly and focus myself back on the road. What am I doing with myself? I did this all by myself. I was the one who let him run away. I was suppose to be the smart one, the one who was smart with resources and could solve any puzzle in his path. But here I am, talking to the last person I want to see today. Or anything soon really.

God, I think I might actually puke out my insides.

_After going round and round, I arrive at your house _  
_It's so familiar and tears fall_  
_After spending a long day finding this place_  
_I feel like I am lost_

빙 돌아온 너의 집 앞이 나  
익숙해 눈물이 나와  
하루가 멀게 찾아온 여기서  
길을 내가 잃은 것 같아

_FLASHBACK_

I fumble with my buttons, the plastic feeling loose and sweaty between my fingers. I manage to slip in all the buttons through the holes and stare directly toward a small picture frame, perched on my dresser proudly. It was a group photo of me, Felix, and Ken, grinning and laughing our asses off with a bottle of beer each in our hands. That was back then, when we were all just friends. It was a nice, simple life and I miss going out and actually having fun with friends for a chance, unlike parties and conventions I was forced to attend unwillingly. They're very similar type of events which involves joking, laughing, and grinning till the corner of your mouth wanted to bleed. Except one was real and the other was all forced. And personally, I prefer laughing at a joke just because it was funny, not because it's socially accepted to.

I slip into a loose pair of sweatpants that dragged behind me, as if I was wearing a long skirt, instead of pants. I adjust my frames and glance toward the mirror that hangs above my dresser. I smile slightly, ignoring the usual self conscience thoughts that would run through my head when I look at a mirror, and stepped down the steps, my bare feet making a small squeak with each step.

_-Mmm. Good morning. _

It was Felix's voice. It was easy to recognize his voice with his heavy Swedish accent that was freaking adorable. Like whenever he said chair or ninja, he would say _shair_ and _ninya_ instead. I giggle softly to myself, placing my hand over my mouth to muffle out the laughter. I was ready to greet him, to give him my normal rant about the empty carton of milk in the fridge like I always did just to mess with him, just like any morning.

_-Good morning babe. _

I hear a spurt of giggles and I peer down the stairs to take a better glance at Felix. I feel my fingers clench against the stairwell, heat rushing toward my face and my upper lip biting on my lower. How do I describe the scene..

_Ken's arms were wrapped around Felix's waist, his face nuzzled against his neck and a small purr escaping his lips, as he bit gently and playfully against the Swedish's ear, which were now flushed a bright red. They giggled softly, a dreamy look on each of their faces, as they absorbed in every moment, sinking in the warmth of the two lovers._

I gasp slightly as Ken's face leans toward Felix's and his lips gently meet against his, igniting a small moan from Felix, who returned it passionately. I feel my face turn a ghastly white colour, my stomach gurgling and my fingers becoming clammy. I didn't want to see this. I should leave. Before I breakdown. Before they notice.

But I don't.

I continue to watch, blinking back the tears waiting to fall down my cheeks and never to be wiped away from _that_ hand who was busy playfully pulling at _his_ dark brown locks. Why was I still here? Why was I still watching them be together, loving every moment together as they kiss and murmur each others name with a smile on each of their faces? I know I hate this. Everyone knows. My friends, Russ, Red, Snake, Scott, Raven, Spoon, just everyone knew, except them. The perfect couple with the most perfect man and the one who fit him best. The most perfect man that was suppose to be mine. _Mine. _

_And the rain begins to crash and fall from my eyes._

_And I drown in this lost world which will never be mine. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Please Don't

**Summary:** Based on the K Will song, Please Don't. Pewdie and Ken have been dating for years and decide to marry, shocking Cry, Pewdie's best friend and man. SLASH PewdieKen, PewdieCry twoshot

_Letting you go is not as easy as it sounds_  
_I turn away, not being able to see you leave me_  
_Tears eventually drop and I need to wipe them away now, I don't know whether I should use the handkerchief you gave me or throw it away_  
_Why won't this trembling go away?_

말처럼 쉽진 않은 널 보내야 한다는 일  
돌아서서 날 버리고 가는 널 보지 못하고 떨구고 마는  
눈물도 이젠 닦아야겠지 주머니 속 니가 줬던 손수건을 써야 할 지 이젠 버려야 할지  
왜 떨림이 멈추질 않지

_-We're getting married. _

_-Hmm? *eyes widen* Excuse me?_

_-Didn't you hear? Silly Cry. *laughs* We're getting married. We're planning the wedding to be in September. I love that month so much. They're so many memories. I wanted to ask Cry..would you like to be our best man? _

_-Best man? *eyes divert* S-Sure. *smiles slightly* That would be an honour._

_-You okay man?_

_-Sorry, just getting teary eyed. My best friends..Ken...Pewds..you two are getting married. I'm s-so happy for you two._

_-Don't get emotional on us yet Cry. You have to wait until you give your speech. _

_-*laughs* y-yeah..sorry..._

I adjust my frames, the crisp air breezing in through the church doors and against my cheek. I sigh, tucking my hands within my tuxedo pants and sneaking in a glance toward Ken, his face lit up, as he shook the hands of everyone who came in through the doors. Such a warm, unforgiving smile that Felix loved, unlike my darkened, cracked smile that struggles to keep its place on my face. No wonder he picked Ken, everyone could see it. Ken was nice, he had a nice figure, and was flirty, unlike my shy, introverted self. He was perfect for Felix..simply perfect.

I shake my head. No, I couldn't act like this. This was my best friends' wedding and I should be happy for the two, overjoyed in fact. They've been together for years, and I should have guessed it long ago, the possibility of them getting married. But, why did I still feel this ache in my chest? The same ache as I watched the them flirt and plant kisses on each other downstairs, the same ache as they announced their marriage to me, grins and rings flashing at me. _I'll feel that same pain when he walks down that aisle toward his husband, Ken. _

_God damn it hurts. _

_Please don't (Please) Don't leave please (Please)_  
_Come back (Come back) Come back (Come back)_  
_On top of the empty seat you left_  
_Only your cold scent remains_

이러지마 제발 (제발) 떠나지마 제발 (제발)  
돌아와 (돌아와) 돌아와 (돌아와)  
니가 떠나간 빈자리 위엔  
차가운 향기만 남아

I could still smell him, his scent lingering in the vehicle. But, instead of the heat flashing across my cheeks or my stomach wanting to puke its inside, I only feel shivers up my spine. Felix's scent felt cold and distant, but it still lingered as if it was desperate to torture me with the best of its ability. I clutch onto the wheel, pressing against the gas pedal even harder, until I was speeding down the road at an illegal pace. I don't care though. _I don't care about anything. _

_Felix just got goddamn married. And I fucking love him. He had to be a bastard about the whole marrying thing too, waving his ring in my face. Who the fuck does that to someone who practically is in madly love with the person whose getting married? I certainly wouldn't do that to him if that was the case, though if I were to marry, it would be to him, because I love him so goddamn much. _

_I love him._

_I love Felix so much._

_I can't believe I fucking do._

_I wish the pain in my heart would stop and cease to exist. _

"Leave this car." I hiss at Felix, my lips pressed together, inhaling in too much oxygen. I need to keep my voice in control. "I don't want you here. I said just go for fuck-" my eyes blink momentarily, as I gaze at the empty leather seat, as if Felix never existed. As if he never sat next to me, talked to me, as if he never even was alive to begin with. That's right, he wasn't really here. He was with his husband, Ken, probably on some fantastic honeymoon they invested in for months and telling each other how much they love each other, how they'll stay together forever, how I was such an idiot for loving Pewds, because he already had a man.

"But you know what, maybe I am an idiot for loving Felix. He is great. He's been a great guy to me." I don't know why I was speaking out loud, but I can't handle this silence. It's too quiet, too lacking the laughter of Felix that I so love. I continue, my feet still stamping against the gas pedal, and my eyes staring out at the road desperately. "Treat me the way I want to be treated. That's all I asked for. And I try my best to make him happy..that way we're both happy..and we are..but.." I stop short, my words trailing off and I quickly pull on the brakes, pulling the car to a complete halt. I lean back into my seat, clutching to my forehead, my vision in a trance it seems for I couldn't make out the image of the wheel and the road ahead of me clearly.

_"Ken, I really love him. A lot in fact. He's been a great guy to me. Treats me the way I want to be treated. That's all I asked for. And I try my best to make him happy. That way, we're both happy. And we are. But-" Felix leans closer, his hot breath on my nose and lips, and I could feel my breath shorten. "You. You're always there by my side too. Remember September? The day we held hands, your right hand was holding onto my left. I thought we would be happy. I thought we would be something more. But then, you disappeared. Like you always do." Felix tipped my chin upward with his index, and narrowed his eyes, throwing daggers at me with such intense confusion and hatred blended in his aquatic blue eyes. " I don't understand what the fuck you're doing_ Cry."

What was I doing? I was practically spilling the same words Pewdie said..what the imaginary Pewdie said. _His words were my words. And he was right. I was right. I don't know what I'm doing. I had my chance to be with Felix and live this happily ever after. Yet here I am, mourning and crying about the fact that he was getting married to another man. September..it was such a wonderful month filled with blue talk and love, admiring the falling leaves as they crunched underneath our feet and our hands close enough to touch._

_But then, I disappeared. I don't know how long, but the next minute I knew, Felix introduced me to Ken who he met from a contest. That was Ken's chance and god did he take it. _

"I'm so sorry Felix..I was so ignorant." I pull out a small picture, the three of us smiling in our tuxedos. I graze my finger against Felix, his smile dazzling the most in comparision to mine and Ken's. He always was so cheery. I guess that was why I love him, at least one of the reasons. Tears begins to fall down my eyes, pricking at the corner of my eyes. "I wish we could go back to September. I promise not to disappear and leave you alone. I love you.. C-Can we please start over? Can we go back to September?"

"You want to?"

_Please don't, please don't leave_

이러지마 제발 떠나지마 제발

"Felix?" my eyes widen, and I almost felt the urge to press on the gas pedal to see if that was really him, not just an imaginary figure, standing outside of my car, his tuxedo drenched and his a frown curved on his lips. I open the car door and instantly wrap my arms around Felix, trying to share as much of my warmth to the shivering Swedish as I could. _God, what was he doing here?_

"Where's Ken?" I ask hesitantly, peeling my arms slowly from his waist and instead gently cupping his cheeks that instantly sent a shiver up my spine. How long has he been out here? "Aren't you too going to Sweden or Switzerland or-"

"I left Ken."

_Come back (Come back) Come back (Come back)_

돌아와(돌아와) 돌아와(돌아와)

My lower lip drops, and I slowly take a step back, my back hitting the front of my car. "Why? I thought you were happy with Ken? For god sake Pewds..you two were just married a few hours ago in a church in tuxedos with family members watching and-" I stop short as Felix places his index underneath my chin, tipping it upwards. He leans in closely and I could already smell his warm comforting scent- leaving no chills or feelings of gagging in my throat.

"F-Felix.." I whimper, my face beginning to heat up. I have half an urge to just pull onto his collar and kiss him, kiss the pair of lips that I've been waiting to press my own's against and the other half to push away from him, beg him to take back Ken. But, instead, I watch as he leans closer, until our cheeks graze across each other and our lips were near ready to meet. I could feel the heat from his, why can't he just kiss me? And if he wasn't going to, why can't he back away now? _Why does Felix do this to me at my weakest? _

_I will hold onto the remaining scent_

남은 향기만 안고 있을게

"Let's start over, can we?" I could hear the desperation lingering on Felix's tongue. His eyes bores into mine, and instantly, I tug at the bottom of his tuxedo top nervously, biting my lower lip. He wasn't using his normal puppy dog look that he would use whenever he wanted something, it was real desperation and desire.

"I don't know Felix.." I finally manage to reply, diverting my eyes toward the ground, covered in raindrops gathered into puddles. I lean my forehead against his chest, trying to even my breath. I need to grasp this situation first hand or I might make a wrong move. I need to think. I need to evaluate everything.

_"Stop evaluating Cry. You love him and he loves you. Why won't you just leave now with him? He's all yours. You have the chance."_

_"He's married to Ken and you lost your chance. You don't deserve another one. Tell him to go back to Ken, the right one for him."_

_"No, Cry, you're the right one for him. You can see it in his eyes. You two were meant to be. Not Ken and Pewds. You'll regret this all your life."_

_"Don't take away another man's lover. Do what's right for Felix. You'll regret this all your life."_

**_"You love him, don't you?"_**

**_"You love him, don't you?" _**

So I did what I knew I needed to for a long time. What I needed to say. Even if I would regret them, even if I wish I could take back these words later on..

_So come back to your place_

돌아와 니 자리로

"Please don't leave. Ever."


End file.
